I read a random facebook post the other day that talked about how as mothers we are often the invisible builders of great cathedrals. While the post was cheesy, I have to admit that the part that struck me wasn’t that as moms we are doing great things, but it was the part where a friend gave the downtrodden mother a gift that both acknowledged the work she was doing and inspired her to continue on in the same situation.

How often do we find ourselves as the “background person”, the one people need in a crisis, and the one who’s efforts are acknowledged only when things start to slip through the cracks?

I’ll raise my hand first, I am a background person in my family. I’d like to think that I’m actually the glue keeping this whole mess together, but that might be a bit too generous. To be honest my family doesn’t notice 95% of what I do until something doesn’t get done.

Do they remember the 50 times the baseball uniforms were neatly set out and ready, no they remember the one time we scrambled to find one last black sock 10 minutes before we had to go.

Do they remember the countless dinners that were home cooked and served on time? Oh heavens no.

Do they remember the on time school pickups, sports practice drop offs, or play dates? Nope, the things that sticks in their head is the one time we were 45 seconds late to a baseball game because one of the kids wouldn’t put their shoes on and someone had to play backup center field.

And yes I will admit it there are days when it is discouraging. There are days when I think wouldn’t it be great if I had fewer flaws, made fewer mistakes, or just enjoyed life more, and forget that I am actually doing a great job. When your mistakes are highlighted and your triumphs go unnoticed, well you start to feel like a house elf.

But… here’s the deal.

You know who notices that you are the anonymous builder of a grand cathedral… other moms.

This is why you need the other moms.

They see your efforts, acknowledge them, and congratulate you as you put one more brick into the cathedral wall.

It’s true, we don’t know who built many of the great cathedrals (trust me, I was an art history major), but we know the cathedral itself is a feat of engineering and architectural genius. The same is true with our kids. I highly doubt that 30 years from now when my kids are wildly successful doctors, lawyers, and chemists (we’re aiming high) that any of them will remember the 1000 books we read before kindergarten, the swim lessons, baseball practices, or mountains of folded laundry, but a small part of their success will be built on the unnoticed efforts of today.

Here’s to the moms waiting in the school pickup line, the moms working hard to feed their families, the moms cleaning up yet more pee off the bathroom floor (why is this constantly a thing), you are doing amazing things!

Amazing amazing things!

We see you, we love you, if I had a gold star for each of you I’d give you one.

Keep up the great work, while it’s true that no screaming toddler is ever going to come give a sincere thank you,  you are doing great things, things that could not be done by someone else.

I hear that some day when we stand back and admire the great cathedrals aka children we have had the privilege of helping shape we will be amazed. Until then, cheer on another mom, pat yourself on the back, and enjoy what you have today.