Let’s take just a few minutes and talk about the sensory overload that moms experience during summer. 

I love my kids dearly, but I think they are trying to drive me insane. I am fairly certain that every third word out of their mouth is “MOM!” They seem to be making a game out of this, each one screaming my name louder than their siblings. 

Last night we reached a point where I thought my head might really explode. We were sitting at the dinner table and all three were out of their seats standing right near me talk/screaming at once. I yelled “stopped talking to me!” and I meant it.  

Folks this is where we are at… school doesn’t start until August. 

Ok, but here’s the thing, I don’t know that they are intentionally being annoying, but they have somehow managed to exceed even my wildest expectations. 

It seems like someone ALWAYS needs something. Someone always needs to tell on a sibling. Someone else needs to tell me what they want for their birthday or what I should buy them next time I am at the store. Meanwhile they have managed to destroy our house, can’t be bothered to feed themselves, and leave their underwear in my car (how does this even happen?). 

I spend a lot of time looking at them dumbfounded, wondering on what planet did they think I would want to shell out $50 for Legos for someone who cannot even be bothered to flush the toilet. 

Come on people. 

I snapped this morning and yelled “It’s not rocket science people, the clothes go into the laundry hamper when you take them off!” All three looked at me like I’d grown a second head and then went back to bickering. 

We cannot be the only family experiencing this by the end of June. Other families have to be sick of each other too. 

I know that tomorrow will probably be a better day. I know that we go through phases and that they probably know more words than “MOM!”, but sometimes it’s hard to remember what life is like in September when everyone is back on a strict schedule and some people leave the house for hours at a time. 

So just in case you’re like me and considering hiding in the bathroom until school starts, here are a few survival tips:

1. Summer isn’t a time for dieting. You look fabulous in a swimsuit, don’t worry about dropping a few more pounds. Let’s be honest the people that stretched out your stomach and helped you pack on the extra weight do NOT care if you wear a size 6 or a size 16. Eat the chocolate. I had leftover cake today. I don’t even like cake, but man I felt much happier after that sugar. Summer is about survival. Buy a pack of Oreos, hide them from the kids and revel in the joy that comes from eating something your kids love without them. 
2. Sleep. Just sleep. You need your energy to deal with the minions you created. Who cares if you floors are sticky. The kids are going to mess them up 20 seconds after you mop anyway. This can be a once a month task, and even that sounds ambitious. Plan on scrubbing the first week of school, and until then keep the lights turned down low so you can’t see the mess. 
3. Leave the house! Do you know what exhausts kids- swimming. Exhausted kids stay in one place for more than a minute and go to bed early. Exhausted kids are also more likely to eat whatever you serve them.  I cannot sing the praises of water and sun enough. Swim in the morning and have a “movie naptime” in the afternoon. Friend you just bought yourself 2 hours of quiet, you’re welcome. 
4. Stick to early bedtime. Yes it is summer, and yes the sun is up forever, but they don’t have to be. Seriously. You need some silence so you can nicely interact with them in the morning. There’s nothing wrong with an 8pm bedtime in July. 
5. Forget about healthy food. No really. I have a really hard time with this one, but I’m pretty sure the moment you stop worrying about feeding your kids all the food groups you will be happier. I make veggies every night but I stopped requiring my kids to eat them. I’m so glad that battle is over. My 7 year old decided he needed to have salad several times last week. Win. Seriously, even a kid will get tired of mac and cheese and eventually eat an apple. You have bigger things to worry about, like keeping everyone alive. 
6. It’s ok to tell your kids that you need some alone time. I hate doing this. I don’t feel like I should tell my kids I need to be alone, but every once in awhile (ok daily) I cannot take the sensory or information overload any more and I end up telling my kids I need to be alone. It usually comes out as a desperate yell, but on the off chance that I plan ahead and warn them in advance things go much better. They can play, nap, watch a show, or bother each other for 30 minutes. It’s ok that I cannot handle their chatter any longer. They sleep with me (why are we back to this phase), wake up at the crack of dawn, and proceed to follow me around all day. It is ok for us to have a short break from one other so I can decompress and not scream at them. 

Good luck surviving sweet moms! Don’t worry, August will be here before you know it and you will be missing them (I mean, the first day of school is better than Christmas to me, but you might be more compassionate). In the meantime, it’s ok to be surviving rather than thriving. Summer is hard… and hot…and loud…and long.