This is the first fall that I have decided to hibernate.

My kids will tell you that I love to sign us up for activities, schedule playdates, and basically keep them running all day every day.

It’s not unheard of for us to have 3-4 playdates a week, plus sports practice, homework, and whatever other activities we participate in.

But not this fall. 

Maybe it is the beautiful fall weather, or maybe it is that the kids are loud and difficult to handle outside of the house, but we have signed up and committed to a whole lot less this year than we have in previous years.

I usually sign up for every fall festival, pumpkin patch, pumpkin painting, or halloween party I can. We have playdate after playdate, followed by hours of sports practices and games. We run ourselves ragged rushing from one super fun scheduled event to the next.

But not this time.

This year I have consciously said no to play dates, pumpkin decorating, and even a halloween party or two.

In most cases it was because we already had an event (or 7) scheduled for that day, but in some (rare) cases it was because I just wanted to have an “at home” day with the kids.

Today after all our sports games were cancelled we were left with a free Saturday. We could have filled it with friends and activities but instead the kids played together (and then fought together), we made a few Perler bead creations, and baked creme brûlées and meringue cookies.

None of our activities were fancy, but they were relaxing.

We did the same thing last night.

Harry Potter’s game was cancelled so we did exactly what AsthmaMan requested- made a “fancy” dinner and had a face paint party.

There was a Halloween party scheduled for last night. One that I LOVE going to, and that we have been to every year since we moved here, but the kids just didn’t want to get ready and go, so instead of fighting them we stayed home.

And you know what? It was ok! I was sure they would regret their decision, but they didn’t. They enjoyed staying home and relaxing. And to be quite honest, I did too.

There was no pressure to be somewhere, to get the kids to behave, or cram it all in. We just were. The boys screamed and fought and then made up. The Princess helped me cook, and then the boys gave me the best face painting I have ever had.

I’ve been making an effort to have more of these days lately, more of these evenings where we spend time together in an unplanned activity. More mornings where I don’t force anyone to get ready, but instead let them build a giant train track that takes over the entire playroom.

I’m sure we are coming across as even more unfriendly than usual. At first I was worried about this, but I’ve decided it’s ok. Friendly is great a great thing to be, but it is also ok to  focus on the people that live in your house. It’s ok to admit that some days the kids just don’t want to go play. Sometimes they just don’t want to have people over to play. Some days, they want to play with each other, read books in their bed, or just camp out and watch a movie.

We aren’t sick, and we do still love to see friends, but saying no to some activities has been lovely.

Instead of forcing them to go everywhere, to put on a smile, and keep themselves under control we are turning inward a bit. They have the freedom to explore, learn to control their emotions (or not) at home, and there’s less pressure to entertain or align our schedule with other people’s. It’s freeing.

We will still be at the park, at the parties, and at the playdates, but we might be there a bit less frequently. We’re applying the “good, better, and best” approach to activities- we will go to the things we have committed to (sports games etc), and then add in the things they want to do most, maybe that means that we will miss some play dates, parties, and activities, but it will be ok.

If you don’t see us around, just know we are at home baking in our pjs, listening to country music, and having a blast together.