I had a terrible thought the other night.

A great idea, but still terrible.

While not sleeping, I thought “what if I go to my brother’s wedding ALONE?”

I know, it’s pretty mean. 

We recently spent three weeks traveling with our kids (actually Mr. Spreadsheets only spent 2), and I’m going to be honest… It was pure hell.

It was just awful.

Awful with a capital A.

They didn’t listen, didn’t sleep, screamed incessantly, and fought almost constantly.

By the time the plane landed in Texas, I can say with certainty that I did not like any of my children.

Don’t get me wrong, I still loved them, but my frustration level was at a 10,000 out of 10.

It was that bad.

The frustration dissipated pretty quickly after we stopped sleeping in the same room and weren’t spending 12+ hours a day in a car, but the memory has not faded.

So when the rumors about my brothers impending wedding started swirling, the thought of getting on another plane with these folks increased my blood pressure significantly.

And then… the glorious (and terrible) thought came… what if I go alone?

I brought this up to Mr. Spreadsheets, he was on board.

He goes to his siblings’ weddings alone.

We don’t even talk about it, he books one ticket and goes.

There’s no packing security objects, making sure we have strollers, swimsuits, or activities to keep people busy on the plane. It’s just him… alone and carefree.

He assures me this enables him to be present, to participate, to enjoy the event, and to be a nicer person.

I looked at him like this was a novel concept.

Rarely do I do somewhere alone, and even more rarely do I go on an airplane alone.

The concept of not worrying about a small person having a meltdown, attempting to run away, or screaming at the top of their lungs as we go through security was mind blowing.

The idea that I would go to a wedding, focus solely on the bride and groom,  enjoy the festivities, and not worry about if someone had to poop, nap, or was hitting everyone they could was too foreign to imagine.

But… I think that’s the plan.

I’m ditching these young folks.

It isn’t because I don’t think they’d enjoy my brother’s wedding, or that I don’t think he’d like to seem them… it is quite honestly because everyone will be happier if they are in Texas in their own beds… unless the wedding is in Texas, it sounds like they will be skipping it.

They’ll be missed, but I think Mr. Spreadsheets might have a point, there are some things that are better experienced without our lovely children…