I recently watched my 2 year old daughter chat up one of my close friends at an early morning t-ball game.

She had been sitting next to me, but when she noticed my friend sitting a little way down the bench she ran over and started chatting.

We’d been in the same spot less than 12 hours earlier, and this friend and I had spent a  good portion of that game chatting, this was just one of the many times my sweet daughter has watched us interact. To my daughter, talking and laughing with a friend is the only way to spend a baseball game, and really who can blame her?

Every day I have minute or two of panic when I think about raising a girl. There are so many ways to go wrong, so many things to teach her, and so many forces vying for her attention.

I know there are areas where I am going to fail her miserably- I can’t teach her how to wear cute clothes, do her hair, or correctly apply makeup, but I am hopeful that I can guide her through some of life’s more important lessons by my example and through my experience.

One of the lessons I hope to teach her is the importance of making and keeping close girl friends.

I’ve been blessed with great friends in every stage of life. There have been aquaintance friends, work friends, school friends, long distance friends, park friends, church friends, and a handful of “forever friends”

These “forever friends” are what I want to teach my daughter about.

I want to teach her that girls need girl friends, and more than just girl friends, I want to teach her that girls need a few “forever friends”.

Forever friends are the ones that you laugh with, cry with, text when you’re boiling mad, and keep in touch with (even if just occasionally) throughout all of life’s many stages.

These are the friends that have known you through your highs, your lows, your crimped hair and braces, pregnancies, sleep deprivation, graduate school, early motherhood, and survival days.

They’re the friends that know when things are going well, and the ones that can tell when something is a little off.

They’re the friends that give you parenting advice, help you choose a major, congratulate you on the purchase of your mom mobile, and bring you back to reality.

These are the friends all girls and women need.

I want to teach my daughter that there is something special about friendships between women.

I read an article that included this quote:

“They [girlfriends] can read our mind and our emotions, intuitively recognize what needs to be done — then do it. They can listen, empathize and show compassion. They can be used by God to comfort us and provide a timely shoulder to cry on…Sometimes it takes another woman to intuitively recognize what needs to be done — then do it. Or to sense what needs to be said — then say it. Or to take the thoughts and emotions we don’t voice — and know what to make of them.”

I wish I was as eloquent as that author, I’ll work on it, but until I learn to write like the her I want to show my daughter the impact that a good friend can have on her life.

I want to show her that good friends show up, that good friends laugh with and at each other, that good friends expect to offer a listening ear and shoulder to cry on.

I want to show her that to be a good friend you don’t need to buy fancy gifts, go on expensive girls trips, or change your personality to fit in. I want to show her that sometimes the best friendships are forged in the middle of real life at the park, the ball field, in the depths of the Smith Fieldhouse, or on your most embarrassing day of high school.

I want to show her that even the best of friends agree to disagree, it’s ok if you think mushrooms are little pieces of death and love black olives, and your friend thinks mushrooms are delightful and black olives are toxic. Friendship doesn’t require total agreement,  it requires tolerance and appreciation for differences, sometimes opposites make the best of friends.

I want to show my daughter that sometimes being a good friend requires you to just listen.

I want to show her that the best of friendships don’t have to be well documented on social media, it isn’t the number of likes you get, but what you’re willing to invest in the people around you.

I want to show her that a great friendship can be an amazing stress reliever and really cheap therapy. I want her to see that good friends make high school easier, college a ton of fun, and motherhood hilarious.

I want to show her that even the most boring situation can be made better if you spend it chatting with a good friend.

I want my daughter to know that some friendships span time and distance, and that it really is possible to pick up where you left off. I want her to believe that some friendships are worth maintaining across life stages.

I want her to know that “forever friends” recognize their own limitations and accept them, they set healthy boundaries, they say no, and they ask for help when they need it.

I want to show her that “forever friends” forgive our shortcomings, encourage us to be better, and find simple ways to serve.

I want to show her that there will be days and situations when things go wrong, and one of the few things that provide peace and comfort are good friends.

As much as I want to tell her all these things, I want her to see it modeled. I want her to  grow up and say “My mom and her friends used to do….”. I want her to know that my life (and hers too) have been blessed because of the friendships I’ve made.

And maybe, just maybe one of my wonderful friends will be able to teach her some of the “girly” things that I can’t.