When you’re the mom, there’s no such thing as a vacation, no such thing as “not my problem”, no such thing as passing the buck.

If you’re the mom you know what I mean. 

You’ve woken up in the middle of the night more than once only to remember that you forgot to sign a permission slip, pack a lunch, or confirm a doctor’s appointment.

If you’re the mom, you’re on a first name basis with the pediatrician, you have your kids’ medications memorized,  and the pharmacist no longer needs to “counsel” you about said prescriptions, because let’s be honest, by now they know your face or what your car looks like (thank goodness for drive thru pharmacies).

If you’re the mom, you know which fruit snacks are the good ones, the proper way to serve a sandwich to each child (heaven forbid they be willing to cooperate), and which sippy cup is the correct one.

If you’re the mom, you’ve memorized the favorite bedtime stories, you know which song to sing, and you know the correct way to tuck someone in.

If you’re the mom, you know where everyone’s favorite t-shirt is, have a sixth sense for a lost security objects, and spend a good portion of your time making sure that everyone has been to the bathroom.

If you’re the mom, you know your child’s cry, scream, and let’s be honest the smell of their poop.

If you’re the mom, you know the fake cry from the cry that signals the actual issue. You know when “Mom I’m going to throw up!” actually means “Mom I’m not eating this dinner”, and when to grab the throw up bowl.

If you’re the mom, you know what it means to be the constant in someone’s life. You know what it means to be “steady as the beating drum”. You know what it means to have someone trust you fully and depend on you for everything.

If you’re the mom, you know what it means to lose yourself completely in service to another. Motherhood has taught me more about service than a lifetime of Sunday School lessons. Until I had my first child, I could only nod along when people spoke about service being the best way to learn to love someone, but now I understand.

Motherhood has taught me how to worry. Before I had kids, I worried over work, school, family and friends, but after I had kids… I learned what it meant to worry over the “big” stuff. There’s the worry that you’re going to screw your kid up (luckily you don’t know if you screwed them up for… a few decades), the worry that they’re going to get hurt, and the worry that somehow they are going to learn life lessons the hard way.

Motherhood has taught me that I need other people. It has taught me that I cannot survive without good friends and how to make those friends. It has taught me how to ask for and accept help. It has taught me that all the answers cannot be researched, it has taught me that there are some things you just have to learn through experience (I hate this).

Motherhood has taught me to trust myself. I’m a good planner, but I’m an even better second guesser, motherhood has given me ample opportunity to have to make a decision and follow through without second guessing.

I heard someone ask, “If you could tell your pre-motherhood self one thing what would it be?”

I’d tell my pre-motherhood self that motherhood makes you strong. It requires you to develop the discipline to keep other people alive, it requires you to put your own needs aside for the good of another, it requires you to become someone’s rock. I’d tell her, that your brain will be fried, your hair and house will be a mess, but you will be strong. I’d tell her that motherhood strengthens you more than anything else ever could because it is… hard.

I’d tell her to take a nap, buckle up, and get ready for a crash course in humility. I’d tell her that she will never be the same, you can’t unlearn the nursery rhymes, names of the Daniel Tiger characters, or how to make fart noises. I’d tell her to prepare for years of cold dinners, sticky kisses, and wiping bums.

But, I’d also tell her to prepare to see your best self reflected in your kids. I’d tell her to prepare to turn around and realize that while you’ve still got miles to go, you’re a better person. You’re more kind, more patient, and more empathetic. You give people a break more often than not, you offer more smiles, and give people more credit.

If you’re the mom, you’ve looked in the mirror and seen the dirty shirt, the messy hair, and the mom tummy and asked yourself when your life has came to this, but you’ve also experienced true love and joy, and… it’s totally worth the crying, whining, and lack of sleep.