Yesterday I found myself telling someone “I’m “just” a mom”.

Just a mom?

I quickly brushed off my life as a mom like it was something to be ashamed of, like what I do could easily be done by another, or like it was somehow less than a job that pays. 

There are days when I look at the giant mess, hear the screaming kids, and look at my never ending to do list and think, “Is this really it? Am I really living the dream? Is this really the life I chose?”

There are days when I daydream that I’d never given up my corporate job, days when I wish I still wore the tailored suits, and spent my days in meetings and my nights in business dinners.

There are days when I consider getting a “real” job, and escaping the mess and crying for deadlines, adult conversation, and a paycheck.

I hear people malign “stay at home moms” every day. There are the subtle insinuations that a mother’s contributions to society would be more if she spent her days in an office, hospital, or school instead of at home with her children. There are the not so subtle hints that the choice to stay home was made out of laziness or a lack of ambition.

There are the condescending conversations that start something like “oh well you stay home so you might not have heard…”, or “I’m so jealous you have so much time to yourself”.

When I hear this my blood pressure starts to rise.

But I do it too.

When asked what I “do”, instead of proudly saying, “I stay home with my kids” I hem and haw and eventually get around to admitting that I have three kids and stay home with them. This admission is usually followed by something like “I need to get a real job” or “some day I’ll do something with my life”.

I am doing something with my life.

I am raising kids!

Raising kids is much harder than my corporate job ever was.

It’s not that my brain is stimulated the same way, or that any individual task is exceptionally difficult, the difficulty comes when the realization that I’m “raising children” sets in.

Raising children means taking inherently selfish and helpless beings and attempting to turn them into contributing members of society.

It means teaching the same lesson over an over again.

It means being strong when people hate you, it means sticking up for your beliefs when giving in would be much easier (trust me, the peer pressure in high school is nothing compared with the pressure that comes from your kids).

It means always being “on”, never having a break, always worrying, always being the responsible one.

Being a stay at home mom means you are a sideline person. It means you are the glue that keeps things together, the cruise director, and train conductor. It means you put your “life” on hold to help another. Your job is to make sure that life stays on track, provide a stable home, and make sure that everyone has what they need to be successful.

Being a stay at home mom means that rarely does anyone acknowledge your efforts,  most of your “accomplishments” are years in the making, and time to yourself is limited at best.

Being a stay at home mom often comes with long hours, limited appreciation, and sometimes a sense that you could be doing “more”.

But…

It also comes with sweet moments that would otherwise be missed. It means you get all the quiet moments, all the stories, all the conversations around breakfast, lunch, and dinner, all the teaching moments, all the park playdates, and all the sticky hugs and sloppy kisses.

Being a mom means you get to see your best self in your kids, it means you get to be the constant in another person’s life, it means you get to understand that a lifestyle of service builds true love.

There is no such thing a “just” a mom. Whether you work outside the home or choose to stay home, being a mom is enough. It is a hard job and it is something worth being celebrated.

I’m going to own being a stay at home mom. It was a choice I made. I wanted to spend these first few years with my kids, I wanted to be there when they woke up and when they went to bed, and during all the moments in between.

I’m going to try and remember this:

“The greatest job that any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging and rearing her children in righteousness and truth. None other can adequately take her place”

Next time someone asks what I “do” I’m going to try to reply with confidence that I’m raising little people. I’m going to say that I’m wiping tears, changing diapers, reading stories, and driving to baseball practice while molding the leaders of tomorrow (wouldn’t it be great if that was true), teaching life lessons, and learning every step of the way.