I don’t enjoy taking my kids in public.

I know it sounds terrible.

I mean there are some public places I’m thrilled to take them: the park, Walmart, Costco, the library… you know places where people wear pajamas and there’s a 90% chance you’re going to run into another child having an epic meltdown.

I do NOT like taking them anywhere they need to be quiet.

At all.

Ever.

Do any other moms feel this way?

Pretty sure it’s the moms that are horrified by the children rather than the dads.

Mr. Spreadsheets seems fine taking three semi feral children out in public.

He seems mildly concerned that they’re screaming, running in opposite directions, and near potentially breakable (aka expensive) items.

I’m the opposite.

As we are pulling up to our destination I can feel my heart start to race, my palms start to sweat, and my blood pressure going through the roof.

It’s a problem.

There’s also the part about actually leaving the house, gathering shoes, coercing people to use the bathroom (why is this still an issue), putting on jackets, making sure that everyone has socks and pants (no for real), and then begging them to put their seatbelt on.

By the time we pull out of the driveway my brain is fried.

Last night we decided to take the feral children to a furniture store to look for bunk beds.

This seemed like a pretty safe bet, I mean any place that sells bunk beds probably plans for children to come and visit at least occasionally.

While it’s true they plan for children… they don’t necessarily plan for the level of chaos created by our three high-spirited and adventurous kids.

The little Spreadsheets are like three very cute and vocal tornadoes… they’re fast, furious, and SO loud. You can’t protect yourself from the destruction, all you can do is get out of the way and clean up the pieces… this works at home, but remember how we were leaving our house… yeah

As we entered the store I know it was going to be bad.

They were running, fighting, and screaming… like as we walked the 10 feet from the car to the front door.

They proceeded to do this throughout the kids section (and then later the couch section).

They ran up the bunk beds, jumped, screamed, played tag, and darted from place to place.

Let me remind you that there are three of them and two of us.

It was a smashing success.

I keep telling myself that the way they will learn to behave in public is if I take them in public… I’m not entirely sure it’s worth it…until then there’s Amazon Prime, pretty sure we can get whatever we need from there…including bunk beds.