I’m going to be honest, being a mom does not come naturally to me.

I sincerely hoped that I would be one of those moms that just “got it'”, but I’m totally not. 

I have friends that are that mom. They love all babies, have the patience of Job, and seem to sincerely love every moment of motherhood.

I wake up every day and psych myself up for another day. I love being a mom, but I have to remind myself that I can do it, that no one has died yet, and that there are probably people out there evenly less equipped than I am to raise children.

Being a mom isn’t something you can learn from a book, you can’t follow a YouTube video, or study it in college, it’s something you learn by doing. And I’m going to be honest, some days the “doing” is killing me, I need an instruction manual.

Have you ever had a job that you’re just down right awful at? One that no matter how hard you try, you’re just really not cut out for?

Yeah that’s me and motherhood.

Anyway…

Because motherhood has such a steep learning curve, I don’t usually trust my own instincts. I operate under the assumption that other people are smarter when it comes to offering parenting advice.

But occasionally I have a feeling that just irks me.

I’m going to call it the Mama Bear instinct.

It’s the thing that pops up every time AsthmaMan can’t breathe, the thing that flares when mean kids push the Princess down at the park, and the thing that has been on high alert through Harry Potter’s ADHD diagnosis.

When Harry Potter was diagnosed with ADHD he was given both medication and a referral for occupational therapy.

We’ve been to occupational therapy twice now, and my gut says that’s not the right fit for him.

We left the first time with the belief that he was basically a typical child with some attention issues and would need a session or two of therapy. We left the second time with a multipage report detailing his sensory issues, poorly integrated primitive reflexes, and the recommendation for a year of therapy.

How do you go from a basically normal six year old to one that suddenly requires a year of therapy in a week?

My gut says our time and resources could be spent on other things that are more beneficial to him.

Because I have a hard time trusting my gut, and because I spend a lot of my time encouraging people to “look at the literature”, I’ve spent a good portion of the last few days looking up words, dissecting the OT report and diagnosis, and reading all the scholarly articles I can find on the topic. I’ve dived into the literature… trust me, I’ve put those teacher skills to good use.

My gut says no. My brain says the research is inconclusive.

But I’m stuck.

The Mama Bear in me says “Heck no! Do something else, this isn’t the right fit for your child”, but the other part of me says “They wouldn’t recommend therapy unless there was an issue”.

This is when an instruction manual would come in handy.

This is when being an awesome mom would come in handy too. I’d be bold and brave, and I’d stand up to the therapist.

I’d run with the alternate solution, I’d sign him up for martial arts instead of therapy because there’s more research available on that topic.

I’d stop worrying that Harry Potter is going to be 30 years old and living in my basement because I made him quit occupational therapy at age 6.

Let’s be honest, that might not be the only way I screw him up.

I think I’m just going to take a few deep breaths, work on channeling my inner Mama Bear, and maybe have a piece of chocolate (or 50) until I make a decision.

Don’t you love walking through my parenting decisions with me?

*For the record I trusted the Mama Bear instinct. I may be screwing him up… but only time will tell.