When I was a new mom  I got a LOT of advice.

I wanted advice on everything from potty training to college applications (I’m a big picture person).

I was super lucky to be surrounded by some amazing mommas during those first two “experimental” years (thanks Wylie 1st Ladies, y’all rock).

Of all the advice I received, there are three things that have stuck with me:

Tip #1: Eat lunch ALONE at least once a week, and make sure that lunch includes a treat. 

The mom that gave me this advice is… awesome.

There really aren’t enough ways to describe her. She is one of my “mom heroes”. I know she has bad days, I know sometimes her kids don’t listen, and I’d venture to guess there are times when she locks herself in the bathroom and considers never coming out. But she’s also amazing; talented, upbeat, realistic, and patient, oh so patient. On the days when I think motherhood is going to do me in I ask myself “What would HR do?”

She gave me this advice when Harry Potter was 1, I’d never considered feeding him and then eating alone before.

But this plan is… brilliant.

Let’s face it, as a mom of littles you rarely eat your food at the temperature it was meant to be served. Salads are warm, soup is stone cold.

Let’s also admit that 80% of your nutrition comes from eating your kids’ leftovers.

You know what makes a half eaten PB&J ten thousand times better?

Silence.

Eating lunch alone gives you the opportunity to eat food at the correct temperature, at a normal pace, and limits the number of people picking off your plate.

It also gives you the time to collect your thoughts, answer emails, mindlessly scroll through instagram, and maybe if you eat slow enough, read a book.

The treat makes lunch that much sweeter. Don’t feel bad that you ate some of your kids’ halloween candy while they were napping, they don’t need that much sugar anyway, and let’s be honest, what kid likes Almond Joys.

This will brighten your day, it’s the pick me up you need.

Schedule your lunch time around nap time, you can eat a little bit later, it’s worth it just to eat without being touched.

Tip #2: Mom clocks out at bedtime 
Another superstar mom gave me this advice when we were in throes of two year old sleep training defiance with Harry Potter.

My kids will prolong bedtime at all costs.

As soon as they sense the end is near, they frantically begin requesting another drink, story, string cheese, and have to pee like crazy.

If they sense any weakness at all they will continue these shenanigans long after the door has closed and lights have been turned off.

I hate this.

I assume that once we jump through the bedtime hoops we are done.

Or at least done with new requests, I have another hour or two to fulfill outstanding requests, clean up the mess, and work (dang it I should be working right now).

My patience ends at 8pm.

My sweet friend encouraged me to tell my kids “Nice Mom clocks out at 8pm, she will be back at 6:30am, Angry Mom clocks in at 8pm”.

You know what kids don’t like?

Angry Mom

You know what I don’t enjoy being?

Angry Mom

You know what limits Angry Mom’s appearances?

Enforcing this rule.

Oh sweet brilliant friend you have saved me so much frustration!

Tip #3 Make Mom Friends and Tell Them When You’re Upset

Clearly I’m a complainer, I want to vent to someone, but as a new mom I assumed that I was alone in my frustrations.

And then…

Then I discovered that the best way to save my sanity was to talk to other moms.

As Harry Potter grew and I spent more time with other moms I found out that moms vent their frustrations to other moms.

Brilliant!

Who else is going to understand your frustration over trying to potty train a kid, trick your kid into eating a vegetable, or comprehend just how frustrating the “individually addressed” valentines are?

Yeah no one.

You need mom friends.

And you need to be real with these people.

Tell them it’s a sweatpants and faded college t-shirt sorta day.

Tell them you need to drown your frustrations in a frosted lemonade from Chick-Fil-A.

Tell them if your amazing husband sleeps through one more kid throwing up you may have to… smother him with a pillow.

Tell them that you feel overwhelmed and frustrated, that you feel like you should be better at this whole motherhood thing.

Tell them that you’re afraid of screwing your kids up, and that you’ve already started saving for therapy.

Tell them that deep down your dirty hellions are actually awesome.

Tell them that you feel a little bit sad every time your kids start a new grade, have another birthday, and pass another milestone.

Tell them that you need them, tell them that they lift you on the bad days and cheer for you on the good days, and that you’re a better mom because you have them on your team.

Someday I want to be the mom that has enough figured out to offer her own advice. Until then, I’ll pass along the “pearls” I was given by wiser women.