One of the great things about Mr. Spreadsheets is his ability to say no… at home.

He can’t say no at work… no seriously, in the 12 years that I’ve known him, I don’t know that he’s ever said no at work. I think it’s physically impossible for him.

If you’re looking for an AMAZING employee, you can’t get one better than Mr. Spreadsheets.

Anyway back to the actual topic.

Mr. Spreadsheets is excellent at saying no at home.

I am… well let’s just say saying no isn’t one of my strong suits. 

I have a hard time saying no in any situation, except with my kids and then it’s a matter of screaming it rather than saying, but that’s another topic entirely.

I’m more like to say “yes, sure”, and then lie awake wondering how I’m going to get everything done.

We’ve had a busy… well we’ve been busy since mid-August.

And by busy I mean the number of things that need to get done every day far exceeds the hours in the day. It’s like running a marathon while being pulled by a car… except the race never actually ends and the car is speeding up.

A lot of things haven’t gotten done.

Even more things haven’t been done well.

I think I’ve finally reached the breaking point. I’ve said yes to so many things that something has to give.

No new things can be added.

The wait list is so long I’m not accepting new projects, appointments, assignments, or obligations.

I just want to sit and watch a show.

If you know me well you know I don’t sit and watch shows. I listen to shows like the radio, but unless Mr. Spreadsheets forces me, I don’t sit and watch shows.

So that’s how busy we’ve been.

We are getting ready to ramp up to a whole new level of busy, my work deadlines are out of control, family is coming, and the holidays are right around the corner, not to mention daily tasks, kiddos, and any other responsibilities we might have.

So Friday night it all came crashing down.

There was a lot of yelling (all from me), and we had this conversation:

Me: BUT WE HAVE TO DO IT!

Mr. Spreadsheets: Why?

Me: BECAUSE EVERYONE WILL BE SO MAD IF WE DONT!

Mr. Spreadsheets: So what, people will be mad anyway

Me: But I will disappoint everyone!

Mr. Spreadsheets: If they’re that disappointed tell them to do it, it doesn’t always have to be you.

Me: But I don’t do that.

Mr. Spreadsheets: Maybe you should.

Me: Maybe you should tell work no.

Mr. Spreadsheets: Work pays the mortgage, just tell [insert group] no. You’ll be happier, I’ll be happier, and they’re going to be mad either way.

Me: Won’t I be failing at [insert activity/obligation] if I say no?

Mr. Spreadsheets: Probably, but they think you’re failing anyway so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

Me: Just say no?

Mr. Spreadsheets: Yep, just say no.

Me: But what we will do?

Mr. Spreadsheets: We’ll figure something out.

Me: Will you tell them? They’re going to hate me

Mr. Spreadsheets: Nope, see how easy that was.

Say no is really rough. I hate saying no, I hate disappointing people, I hate ruining plans.

But he has a point, just say no.

I said no to a couple of things today, and I was right, people were angry, frustrated, and disappointed.

Tomorrow I have to say no to a few more things… oh did I mention that I also HATE confrontation, like almost as much as I hate mushrooms. And that’s saying something because I lie and tell people I’m allergic to mushrooms, that’s how much I hate them.

While I hate the frustration, confrontation, and disappointment, there is a part of me that can breathe a little easier now.

I don’t have to do those activities or fill those responsibilities every time, it’s ok to be “too busy” every once in awhile.

It’s ok that plans don’t go the way people hoped, it’s ok that other people have to pick up the slack, it’s ok that I say no to things that I really don’t want to participate in.

I think I’m going to channel Mr. Spreadsheets from now on… no, nope, no way, never.

Whew, I feel lighter already!