I’m not one of those moms that cries on the first day of school.

I’m the mom that is smiling and almost giddy.

I’m sure the teacher and other moms think I’m terrible and heartless… I’m ok with that.

I’m a big believer that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Time apart gives me the space (and perspective) to enjoy my kids, to want to be with them, and to say yes to their requests.

The rest of this post is going to make me sound like a terrible mother, feel free to skip it so you maintain your positive perception of me. 

My oldest child stresses me out.

From the moment he wakes up until the moment he falls asleep I feel like a tightly wound spring.

He is a really sweet, thoughtful, inquisitive, and smart kid. He’s like a little sponge soaking up knowledge and observing the world around him. His ability to make connections between things is amazing.

But there is something about our personalities that clash. He is an extreme extrovert, has a lot of energy, loves chaos, and thrives on being with people all the time.

I’m… well… not that. I like some quiet, I like to be productive, not just busy, I like things to be clean and orderly. I don’t need to SCREAM to fill the silence, or spend every waking hour with another human being.

Harry Potter was a hard baby, one of those babies that makes first time mother’s seriously question their sanity and abilities.

When I go back and read my blog posts from that first year, I just cringe. It was hard.

He was the baby that would NOT sleep unless he was at the point of collapse, he was the baby that wouldn’t settle themselves, the one that wanted to be entertained all the time from the day he was born.

As a toddler and then preschooler, he hated being alone, he doesn’t enjoy any alone activity unless it involves media. And when he is bored… he is mean and destructive. He’s bored a lot.

As a baby this was manageable There were no other kids to worry about. I was coming from a demanding job and needed somewhere to channel my excess energy, I poured all that energy into him.

He LOVED it. He thrives on that kind of attention

That was sustainable with one child, but not with three.

With three, the focus has to shift to immediate needs. You have to learn to prioritize, and they have to learn to solve some of their own problems.

AsthmaMan and the Princess got that… the first day they were home from the hospital, but Harry Potter still struggles with this daily. And I struggle with patience as I teach him.

But school… school is magic.

School gives Harry Potter the avenue he needs to stay busy and social all day.

He gets to play, talk, and be with people for 6 hours!

His busyness isn’t a hinderance, it’s an asset!

His inquisitive nature doesn’t get frustrating, it pushes him to try harder and learn new things.

And there’s no need for quiet alone time.

School also lessens his boredom, all of a sudden free play is appealing instead of a burden.

School gives me the space to breathe, clean up his messes, and parent my other kids.

School lets me say yes to AsthmaMan when he asks me to read him another book, play another game, or just sit together. It helps me relax enough that I feel like I can take a few extra minutes without falling terribly behind.

School gives my other kids time to relax. Instead of being on edge all the time because Harry Potter is screaming at him, excluding him, or hitting him, AsthmaMan can play freely. His reduced stress trickles down to the Princess. Their schedules run the day, instead of trying to fit their schedule around his need for social interaction.

School gives us smaller chunks of time to really sit down and enjoy each other.

On Friday afternoon, we drew ninjas for an hour. He told me about all the ninjas, and we drew them on his white board. He didn’t demand we watch show, move on to another activity, or exclude a sibling. We enjoyed each other’s company.

A week earlier we never would have done that. He would have been whining that AsthmaMan and the Princess were in the room, that we weren’t watching a show, and that he wanted to play with a friend. But because he’d been at school all week… he was pleasant and liked the activity.

This is why I love school for Harry Potter.

I love it because the time apart, gives us the space we need to enjoy each other.

I love it because school gives us both the time we need to fulfill our own needs so when we see each other we are both happy and pleasant.

School creates peace and harmony in our family.

So no, I’m not sad that school started. I’m thrilled! School gives me the tools I need to be a better and more patient mother, thank you school!