There are days when I think I’ve lost myself in motherhood.

I hear other moms echo the same sentiment.

We joke about how we look in the mirror and don’t recognize the person that we see, or that our husband’s wonder what happened to the girl they married.

I love being a mother, but I think that somewhere along the way I lost track of myself.

Before my kids came along I had a set of things I wanted to accomplish. I may not have been positive about how I was going to do that, but I had the beginning of a plan.

Now I don’t even have a “pla” (thank you Phoebe).

If you’d have told me that this girl would wonder which path to take, I’d have thought you were crazy.

This girl was going places! She was smart, organized, and focused. But somewhere along the way she changed.

There are pieces of that girl left.

I still plan out every day and thrive on checklists, but my priorities, skills, and interests have changed dramatically. I didn’t expect the change to be so noticeable.

I thought I would have kids, but stay myself. I though that my personality would influence my kids, but for some reason, it didn’t occur to me, that they would end up changing me (that girl was organized but naive).

Sometimes it worries me that the “old me” is gone. I still feel 24 with the world ahead of me, there are days when I’m shocked by the minivan and three kids.

There are days when I miss the “old me”, and I wonder how I’m going to navigate life without her.

But then I’m reminded that deep down she’s still there, but she’s grown up and improved.

Sure I probably need a refresher course on everything I learned in college, but I’ve developed patience and a sense of confidence that I didn’t have before. I’ve learned that I can do hard things.

I’ve learned that some level of frustration is good, and that sometimes you do have to think outside the box.

I’ve learned to give people the benefit of the doubt, and how to lose myself in the service of others. I’ve learned there is more to life than me and my plans.

This new girl is pretty awesome, worth getting to know at the very least.

She may not be as interesting or as well read as she once was, but she’s witty (can we pretend that’s true), kinder, and wiser than her previous self.

My goals may have changed, I may not end up saving the world, but this new and improved me has realized that while I can’t change everything,

I can improve my little corner of the world and that might be enough.