Today was Sunday again, and you know what that means! Fun at church!! In fairness the church part of church is great, but the part where my kids sit with me is not always great, unless you witness the mayhem and then it’s probably highly entertaining.

Today started off with a win!

All three kids were awake at 4:45am for various reasons. They all fell back asleep by 6am, but church starts at 9am so you can imagine how chipper they were by the time we got there.

Things started off ok, we were running late so they didn’t have much time to fight before the meeting started, everyone picked a seat, people were relatively calm.

And then… and then the boys discovered that the Princess was sitting between them and decided to launch themselves at her, which made her try and launch herself in the other direction.

There was a bit of a scuffle… which was awesome since we hadn’t even gotten through the opening hymn yet.

There was a fight over a hymn book, a fight over the Princess’ book, and then the snack begging started.

It was probably 9:07am at this point.

They all ate breakfast around 8:20am… so you know, they were famished by this point… wait, no they weren’t.

It was also around this time that AsthmaMan remembered his fire ant bites and tried to count them… which involved trying to take off his shirt to count the ones under it. After a panicked conversation where I convinced him naked and church don’t go together, and me promising him that I would go home and get Benedryl during Sunday School we settled back into our pew.

Then the Princess decided to scream… for no reason. She doesn’t do this at home, but she has decided the chapel is the BEST place to do it.

She kept doing it over and over.

Mr. Spreadsheets had his hand over her mouth but he was laughing which made her so happy, and she continued, increasing her volume with each shriek.

Then she decided to growl, she has two older brothers, she is great at growling. So she’s growling, the boys are fighting over… I don’t even know what, and we have 45 minutes left to go.

Eventually the snack issue gets desperate, they are wasting away! They decide granola bars are the way to go, why I am stupid enough to keep granola bars in the church bag is beyond me.

They inhaled the granola bars, and teased the Princess… she also loves granola bars. By the time they finished they were all covered in chocolate (I swear those things have like 3 chocolate chips and all of them end up smeared somewhere). Oh and I was covered in chocolate too.

It was super awesome.

By this point I am frantically wiping everyone down and cursing Costco and their chocolate chip granola bars.

And then someone has to pee.

And because they’re a child they announce this LOUDLY, so everyone around us knows they have to pee.

Mr. Spreadsheets escapes with AsthmaMan to the bathroom and then I have a chance to look at our pew. There are pieces of granola bar, sippy cups, coloring pages, and colored pencils strewn everywhere- we have been there for 50 MINUTES not 50 years!

I start to try and convince Harry Potter to clean up, the Princess helps us out by emptying the church bag and throwing the contents into other pews… sweet.

Eventually it ended. Seriously this is a marathon not a sprint, church with my kids is not for the faint of heart.

I came back with Benadryl for AsthmaMan after a quick  (25 minute) trip home to retrieve it. When I showed up he told me to be quick because he needed to sit reverently with his teacher… what the heck? And way to go teacher!