There are many lessons to learn in childhood. Some lessons are learned quickly, and some lessons take several “go rounds” to get right. Some lessons stick with us for a lifetime, and others last about three seconds.

AsthmaMan had several “learning” experiences lately.

Lesson One started with this:

If this picture doesn’t strike fear into your heart then you don’t live in fire ant country. This is not an innocent pile of dirt, this is a fire ant mound.

You NEVER want to touch them, get near them, or aggravate the fire ants in any way.

Before you get the mistaken impression that fire ants aren’t as bad as their name implies, let me stop you.

Fire ants are mean.

One fire ant can do some serious damage.

A fire ant sting feels like someone is holding a lit match to your skin and applying pressure for DAYS.

They burn like crazy, swell up, and then itch so bad.

Kids often fall victim to fire ants. Fire ants build their nests in playgrounds, in the grass, and on the edges of the sidewalk.

Fire ants are fast and furious, before you realize you have invaded their territory they are biting you, they get in your clothes, socks, shoes, everywhere, they’re pure evil.

Most kids learn their lesson with fire ants quickly… but… some don’t.

AsthmaMan hasn’t learned yet.

AsthmaMan has a tendency to find a fire ant mound, and then instead of alerting an adult, kick it or poke it with a stick.

I cannot count the number of times he has ended up with fire ant bites all over his feet after a trip to the park or the number of times I have stripped him down in the middle of the park to shake the ants out of his clothes.

Yesterday Harry Potter found a mound in our yard (did I mention they tend to appear right after a storm?), and he alerted Mr. Spreadsheets.

Mr. Spreadsheets walked quickly to the garage and back to get the poison, leaving Harry Potter and AsthmaMan behind with the warning not to bother the ants.

Harry Potter listened, but AsthmaMan stuck his HAND into the nest.

I heard screaming!

Not soft screaming, the sound of someone being seriously injured. I ran out, and sure enough, AsthmaMan was COVERED in bites.

I stripped off his shirt and found several biting his tummy and arm pit, and his hand… well… a picture’s worth a thousand words.

He had 22 bites on one hand. They bit his sad little fingers, between the fingers, even his palm. 24 hours of Benadryl later he’s a hot mess, but he can bend his fingers again.

Lesson two started with this:

Mr. Spreadsheets is building the boys a tree fort (ok a fort next to a tree).

He went to put something down and told Harry Potter and AsthmaMan to go inside. They of course did not listen, and all of sudden we heard screaming.

Well we heard a scream and then silence because AsthmaMan was doing that thing where you hold your breath until you scream.

Turns out he climbed up the ladder and jumped off.

He hurt his arm, funny enough the one that didn’t get covered in fire ant bites, and was convinced it was broken.

He jumped off!!

Seriously!

I want to say this is the first time he has jumped off an elevated surface and gotten hurt, but that would be a lie. When he was a toddler he jumped off the PLAYSCAPE at the park so frequently we stopped going to the park for awhile.

Some lessons are hard to learn, some take multiple bouts of trial and error.

Thank goodness no one was injured too badly (this time) as AsthmaMan attempted to learn about gravity and nature…again.