How do you help your kids achieve their dreams and aspirations?

I have this fear that my pull towards realism will result in crushing my kids’ dreams.

How do you help your kid know that the world is a tough place, but that dreaming big is a good thing?

How do you help your kid work for success, but stand by and watch them when success is harder to attain that you both thought?

How can you pick them up off the ground without saying “I told you so”?

Harry Potter brought this home on the last day of school.  It says:

When I grow up I want to be a chemist. When I am a chemist I will want to make medicines.

First off, how good is this kid’s handwriting (sorry just had to mom brag), and second, how cool is it that he wants to be a chemist and make medicine!

Seriously, a chemist? I didn’t know what a chemist was at that age.

I’m telling you, I’m going to be the dream crusher, some little dose of reality will creep in, and then they will begin to doubt themselves and their abilities. I went through school thinking there were some things I could do, and some things I couldn’t.

I don’t think this was the fault of my parents, my parents are great, but I don’t think I ever sat there and thought “I can do whatever I want”.

There were always some limitations. I knew that I wasn’t great at math, I was terrible at sports, I lack the interpersonal skills to speak to large groups of people, the list can continue but why.  I ruled out president, astronaut, and scientist around grade 3, let’s be honest those would have been terrible options.

But I want to find a way to keep that, if at all possible, from creeping up on my kids. I want them to be dreamers, those kids who think they are going to rule the world that people chuckle about, and then end up actually ruling the world.

I went to high school with a kid like that. This kid was smart, but not the smartest, they had to work hard, but they never seemed to be aware of their limitations. Their parents were their biggest cheerleaders, to the point that the rest of us thought the whole family was delusion. The kid went to college like the rest of us, but was determined to be awesome, and you know what, they are awesome.

The rest of us were totally wrong.

This kid knew they could achieve their goals even when the rest of us laughed.

I want my kids to do that.

I want them to have the support and self confidence that the comments from others and potentially obvious roadblocks are just minor setbacks.

It would be amazing if kids came with a manual and directions that explained how to do this… how to instill resilience, grit, and self confidence, instead do you know what babies come with? Hats… yep, hats, how is a tiny striped hat supposed to help me (just saying a manual would be better)?