I’m probably the most boring dresser alive.

My favorite clothes are navy blue and grey. I like stripes and solids and that’s about it.

I live in jeans, I don’t do bright colors or wild patterns, I’m not sure I own anything pink, and I don’t do spandex.

I wear a lot of t-shirts, the occasional sweater, hoodie, and superhero shirt.

I don’t wear jewelry except a watch, my hair and makeup are… boring, there’s not a better way to describe them.

My friends joke that I go into a store and think “what is the most boring article of clothing in here” and buy that. I mean it’s sort of true. I haven’t dyed my hair a cool color or gotten an interesting haircut, though I would love to have blue hair, wouldn’t that be awesome, maybe just a stripe?

I even wear boring shoes. A few months ago a friend convinced me to buy a pair of red TOMS, every time I wear them someone makes a comment, I have multiple pairs of TOMS, they are boring shoes, but this pair is an actual color.

I wore a hat today and my friends laughed so hard, they couldn’t contain themselves, they loved commenting on how I had purchased the most boring hat available, they were pretty sure I had to search to find it.

Nope, turns out Wally World sells plain navy blue hats for $2.97… just being smart.

And really it wasn’t that bad, think Luke’s blue baseball cap from the Gilmore Girls except navy- boring and practical, perfect for every occasion.

I hate standing out, navy blue and grey keep me in the background which I love.

I went to go buy some more t-shirts today. Having three kids results in a lot of destroyed clothing for everyone. Between the mom pudge (which I love… no), and the kid hand grease, my clothes are pretty much trashed and ugly. Luckily the store had mirrors throughout so I could see how terrible and boring I looked surrounded by all the new clothes.

I picked out two t-shirts, they fit great, one was grey with a swirly pattern, and one was a bluish green stripe… I walked towards the checkout and hurried back to switch them for a grey stripe and a solid navy blue.

I’m BORING! But I consoled myself by saying that these will get worn.

While I was in the store buying two t-shirts that look fairly similar to the ones I was replacing, I encountered new clothes.

Um… why are there onesies in the adult section? I know they aren’t called onesies, but they’re onesies! Onesies only work when you need your diaper changed regularly and you are under the age of 3. No one is going to look good in those, plus I can’t even imagine being a mom trying to pee quickly in one of those spandex death traps.

And overalls! Why are overalls back?

And spaghetti strap dresses with crew neck t-shirts underneath, and those horrible tattoo chokers?

Is it 1999 again?

Seriously, these fashion choices were horrific the first time around, now they’re back with neon.

Next thing you know those sweet Steve Madden black mules will be back.

I’m a terrible dresser and even I can’t do it. I’m sticking with the classics, boring mom jeans (gotta be practical), t-shirts, and the occasional adventurous red shoe.