Warning: There is going to be a LOT of bathroom talk in this post. If pee makes you sick you probably should move along.

One of my very favorite ways to start the morning is by stepping in a puddle of pee.

I especially love it when it is still dark and I’m wearing socks.

It’s awesome. Oh wait… I hate this.

I would really prefer my kids NEVER come into my bedroom, let alone use the bathroom.

They make a giant mess in there, I want this to be the one place free from legos, juice, and plastic dinos.

On a side note, the boys were brushing their teeth with Mr. Spreadsheet’s supervision the other night (which meant he was using the toilet while surfing the internet on his phone) and I was putting the Princess to bed upstairs.

When I came back down (about 5 minutes later), teeth still hadn’t been brushed, but they had squeezed out the ENTIRE brand new tube of toothpaste all over my bed!

ALL OVER!!! I’m still ticked at all the male inhabitants of my house.

But back to the subject of pee.

I think my boys are intentionally peeing on the floor.

We have a rule that boys must sit down to pee except in public (because that’s gross and risky). There is no way they can miss that badly if they’re sitting!

Is this just a boy thing, do boys just have a total disregard for where their pee goes? Are they completely unaware that they are almost hitting the walls and the door? It seems like they would step in it too! Unless of course they’re secretly standing up (but then again I can’t remember the last time one of them used the bathroom with the door shut so I know they’re sitting) and backing away from the puddle.

Am I in for decades of pee on the floor? I grew up with two brothers, pretty sure they intentionally peed on the floor to horrify my sister and me.

Is this just my house? Am I overreacting?

Mr. Spreadsheets assures me they will get better; experience with my brothers tells me they will think this is even more hilarious as time goes on.

Seriously… why am I stepping in someone else’s pee!!!