I need to apologize to anyone that reads this blog.

I intentionally do not use correct grammar and punctuation.

I went to college, I know how to use correct grammar and punctuation, but that isn’t the point of this blog.

The point is to create posts that read like I was speaking them.

I know it’s weird and confusing.

I wish I could write like Anna Quindlen. I wish I could write thought provoking posts that are both well cited and well written- I can’t.

Instead I can write posts that read like I was speaking them. So here’s something to help you decipher the “writing style”:

• … : Insert awkward and prolonged pause. I tend to do this when I speak, I’m pretty sure it makes people cringe… but… oh well? See how that works?
• , : Take a breath. Unless there’s a comma no breath should be taken. Yes, I speak relatively fast and in long rambling sentences, and that’s how I write. The commas are intentionally put in where a breath would take place.
• (anything in parenthesis) : These are phrases that are whispered, muttered under one’s breath, or things I think but try not to say out loud.
• anything in italics : These words need extra emphasis, and in real life they would probably include a hand gesture.
• ANYTHING IN ALL CAPS : These are things that would be yelled and/or emphasized with sweeping hand gestures. I’m a hand talker and a yeller, it’s had to put that into writing, but now you know!

If we’ve spoken in person this is starting to make a lot more sense. Yep, I am a crazy person.