I feel like dinner consumes my life. I start thinking about dinner days before I cook it, and I start preparation around the same time that I start breakfast.

Every day dinner is a race against the clock, I start it within a few minutes of arriving home from school pickup, and we conclude the fun right around bedtime, the actual “eating” part takes about 4 minutes.

I am the first to admit that I’m not cooking gourmet meals over here- we are in survival mode.

I hate feeding my kids dinner.

It is a GIANT mess and an even bigger fight.

Someone always complains about what I cooked, and then there’s the constant fighting and drink spilling during the meal.

I think I could handle dinner  better if it was an every other day sort of thing.

Like if we ate on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, and on the other days I just handed them a granola bar and said “enjoy”. I mean they’d probably prefer that anyway.

Someone once told me that feeding their kids makes them “lose the will to live, there are days I agree.

Dinner at our house NEVER resembles a Norman Rockwell painting.

I’ve read everything I can on improving family dinner.

I’ve tried the 30 minute meals, freezer meals, crockpot meals, the conversation “popcorn” games, you name it I’ve tried it.

Nothing has really improved dinner at our house.

It isn’t the conversation or the food that is a problem, it’s just that we have three kids under 6 and dinner is served in the evening not at noon.

But I can’t give up on family dinner just quite yet.

Research suggests that families that regularly eat dinner together have happier and healthier children.  These children are more likely to try fruits and vegetables, have diets higher in fiber, calcium, and iron, delay sexual activity, report lower levels of depression, are less likely to commit suicide or develop an eating disorder, score higher academically, and report lower levels of alcohol, drug, and tobacco use.

Whew that was a mouthful!

I grew up in a family where dinner was not optional.

Dinner was served at 5pm (because we were 100) whether people were hungry or not.

Your presence at dinner was non-negotiable, no sports practice, midterm, or illness could get you out of family dinner.

I hated family dinner as a teenager, but looking back there were some benefits.

I had friends that could go days without speaking to their family members outside ofthe obligatory “hello”, my family didn’t have that.

I learned proper nutrition (which I ignore daily), and had access to healthier food options than I would have selected myself.

And… I learned to cook and clean, skills I attempt to use daily. So maybe those hated dinner were worth something.

My hope is that as my kids grow we can continue to show them that family time is a priority and that their participation is  (no matter how miserable some days) an expectation, and that some day they will look back on the time together and find some value in our efforts.

Until that day I am going to continue losing at dinner, because let’s be honest, dinner is a battle and I am losing it.