We lost our second child (AsthmaMan) at the store today.

By lost I mean he was there one minute and GONE the next.

See things started off innocent enough, we (ok I) decided it was a good idea to take our entire family kids clothes shopping at Old Navy (yes in retrospect this was a TERRIBLE idea and I will be sticking with online shopping from here out).

We were chatting about a t-shirt for the oldest child (Harry Potter) and thought the second one was with us… because he WAS and then… gone.

My husband (Mr. Spreadsheets) and I split up, he took the baby and I took Harry Potter.

We each took a side of the store, we looked all over and nothing. I looked out the door but he wasn’t in the parking lot.

We checked again and still nothing!

The store was pretty empty that early in the morning, and let’s be honest Old Navy isn’t that big, but there was no sign of him.

By this point we are walking quickly (you know that panicked almost running parent walk) and saying his name loud.

I will say that AsthmaMan is crazy, he does all sorts of things that are just insane, he has been known to leave a store and run THROUGH the parking lot (alone) to our car.

We kept searching with no luck.

By this time we were both starting to freak out more than a little bit.

Every time Mr. Spreadsheets and I would run into each other we would ask in increasingly panicked voices “do you have him” and still nothing.

I was headed to the counter to ask them to page this child or lock the doors so he really couldn’t leave when I hear “I found him!”

Do you know where the little monster was?

Right where we left him!

AsthmaMan never left, instead he sat down inside a display of clothes.

He had been WATCHING us panic.

He thought it was hilarious, I mean he was beside himself laughing.

How he stayed so quiet and still for so long while watching us is beyond me.

Why do children do this?

Why do children think hiding is so funny, especially hiding in public places?

Why do they think watching their parents freak out is hilarious?

I’m pretty sure this AsthmaMan finds a special kind of joy in hearing that note of panic in my voice that comes when someone could be seriously injured.

I no longer wonder why my hair is rapidly turning from dark brown to grey, if there is any brown left by the time this second child makes it to adulthood it is going to be a miracle.