My daughter’s first birthday is fast approaching.

I can’t believe we have made it this far already.

Some days it seems like she has been with our family forever, and some days it seems like just yesterday I was counting the minutes until pregnancy was over.

I have two older boys so I know what turning one entails. I was thrilled for the boys to turn one.

With the oldest I was thrilled with the milestones that one brought, he was able to do more than just scream and he could participate in fun activities. His first birthday meant some independence and freedom for both of us.

With the second, one meant he was finally able to join his brother. He could run and play at the park, swim, and participate in all the activities he had spent the last year watching. He was hilarious and fun, and learning every day.

But with the third and only girl, I’m not looking forward to her first birthday as much.

I have so enjoyed her as a baby.

Maybe it’s that after two other kids I have some confidence in my ability to parent a baby, or maybe it’s that I’ve let everything go (no really EVERYTHING), or maybe because I know she is the last one.

When we had her I knew she would be the last baby, and I was thrilled, it’s what got me through the horrendous pregnancy. But as she has grown it has become bittersweet.

As she approaches her first birthday a chapter in my life is closing.

I will no longer have little babies, instead I will have KIDS!

We are moving away from being up all night and towards school, sports, and “big kid” activities.

This ending of an era is a little bit sad, while I don’t want to go back to baby land, and I know I can’t mentally handle a 4th child, it’s a bit sad to see this chapter end, especially as we started to gain confidence in our abilities.

So onto the next chapter, it’s going to be great, and hey my almost one year old can’t walk or talk so maybe she will be a baby for a bit longer.