Dear Other Moms at the Park Yesterday,
First off, I am beyond sorry that my children screaming ruined your time at the park yesterday.

I know, they were pretty much the worst.

About 5 years ago I was you.

I was somewhat (let’s not get ahead of ourselves) neatly dressed, pushing my one delightful child in a stroller while chatting with my friend.

I viewed the park as a more of a fun social outing than a way of keeping the screaming and mess out of my house.

I brought a myriad of organic snacks for my one child and followed him everywhere… and then…well and then I had a second kid.

And yes for awhile we did still view the park as a fun social outing, and less of a way of preventing mom from losing her freaking mind, but I didn’t spend quite as much time following them around documenting their every moment at the park.

The snacks became, well less cool, and I no longer thought I would have intelligent adult conversation.

That brings me to today,  I now have three kids, I know there are people with tons more kids (and bless you every day, how you do that is beyond my understanding), but let’s just say when you’re out in public and people could die because of traffic, three is more than one.

Yeah I’m looking a little bit harassed these days- I HAVE THREE CHILDREN!

Someone has needed something every 5 minutes for the last 5 years, my brain is mush, I’m hearing voices that tell me they need goldfish crackers, some random item for school, and help going potty.

I know I know, you think I’m losing my mind, but that is what three sounds like, someone always needs something, and someone is always touching you.

So yesterday after school we went to the park, it seemed like a great plan, a place to get energy out and run, and scream and play, and have fun while not making a giant mess at home and using every toy in the playroom as a weapon.

Fail, we lasted maybe 10 minutes.

But there was something about your pitying looks that made me want to burst your bubbles- this my dear other mothers is what you have to look forward to.

This is what more than one small child looks like. It is loud, and messy, and no one listens, but it is also wonderful.

There’s a chance that as you have more kids you might lighten up, it is possible that Timmy might have some gluten or Red 40 or heaven forbid high fructose corn syrup.

And there’s a really good chance that some day you’re going to be at the park and see a fellow mother and just cringe, because you know that under her fancy “athleisure” wear she’s totally judging you because your kid is having a huge fit.

Don’t worry friend, when that day comes, you would have been continuously yelled (by the tyrants you’re raising) and it won’t bother you.

You might even wave, smile, and say hi, because it’s a little bit funny. I’m sorry we ruined the park… but it’s a park… and your day will come soon enough.